Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Life is a Series of Ups and Downs…Literally...

While looking through some old pictures, I realised that it’s taken a really long time for me to be comfortable in my own skin. And talking to friends, it seems to be a similar problem all around…but manifests itself in different ways for ladies and men. For the ladies, it’s usually the obsession about weight and beauty that always results in a balancing act. If we’re lucky, it takes a few years…if we’re not so lucky, it can take the better part of a lifetime.

For me, I’d say it’s taken the better part of 15 years. I’d never been one of those skinny children – at least according to my family. I was always the ‘chubby’ one amongst the cousins (still am till now!), which ironically, led to me gaining quite a substantial bit of weight in my early teens. This was further aggravated by a hit-and-run accident – I tell you, there’s nothing quite as damaging as being bedridden and stuffed like a turkey with well-wishers bringing their respective concoctions to bring on speedy recovery. Don’t get me wrong, it was very much appreciated, but the side effects were something else!

This was taken when I was about 15, travelling around UK and Paris (the first time I’d ever been to Disneyland, and we went to the one in Paris no less!) Beauty-wise, this was a bad time – imagine this: I was wearing a bright red bomber jacket, with absolutely bright red lipstick. It’s worn off somewhat in the picture above, but let’s just say you wouldn’t want to see the other photos! (by some weird coincidence, I just found out that Paris and I had met briefly WAAY back then…but neither of us have much recollection of that occurrence!)

After that, things just went from bad to worse – every diet or tip I tried saw me losing maybe 10 pounds or so, but then gaining it back…and then some. This must have been the heaviest I’ve ever been…and this was in 2004 while I was in Perth studying…I’d started experimenting more with makeup then, but as you can see I still needed plenty of help! LOL…

But there’s always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and once I’d managed to address all the issues that led to my comfort eating (and found other constructive ways of getting through them!), the weight slowly came off. A couple of friendly tips on makeup didn’t hurt either… :) This was taken during my Barcelona trip last year, and for better or worse, I’ve lost another 8 kilos since then… (yes, I’m in shock too!)

Of course, in the event my looks don’t hold out…there’s always Photoshop right? Anyone can look this good with industrial-strength makeup and some time on a computer…LOL

I just realised Plue has done something similar with her photos too…I wonder what inspired us…haha…oh I’m just going to go with ‘great minds think alike’.

Do any of you have similar stories? Come on and share – and celebrate how far we’ve come since then!! :)


At 3:32 pm, April 21, 2009 , Anonymous Paris B said...

My dear you are brave! And nope I cannot remember the red jacket *racks brains desperately* In my case, it was a case of a chubby childhood that lasted way into my uni days. Lashing of potatoes and desserts while in the UK did not help! Oh and I never wore makeup then either - am I making up for lost time? LOL :)

At 4:24 pm, April 21, 2009 , Blogger Askmewhats said...

I do have similar story to share! LOL But I needed to go to my big box of well kept secret hahaha and look for those ....ahem....photos! LOL *hugs* I love you for your personality, even if I haven't seen your face , I'll love you for who you are! Same with Paris B! LOL I just remember her EYES to be honest! hahahaha

At 4:28 pm, April 21, 2009 , Anonymous prettybeautiful said...

hey bee i think u look really wonderful now compared to the one in red bomber jacket. but it is the heart that counts! and gosh, guess what? till now, some of my uni friends still mocking me for how i looked like when i was 18! damn these ppl.

At 4:38 pm, April 21, 2009 , Blogger 心。葵 @ plue said...

oh bee! u lost so much weight!

I never wore makeup until 20 I think... And yay, great minds think alike! LOL.

as long as we are happy n comfy in our own skins, i suppose that's all that it matters :)

and ps: Paris, were u chubby before? you sure don't look like one!

At 5:40 pm, April 21, 2009 , Blogger Kimberlycun said...

bee you look fabulous! i suppose a lot of us went through awkward stages in life. i only started being comfortable in my skin when i was around 21. started dieting when i was 10 (eating nothing and doing calisthenics for hours in my room and eventually throwing up after every meal for 3 years, laxative abuse etc). im glad i've finally realised that looking stick thin does not make me happy in fact drove me to the verge of suicide. eh sorry for being so drama but this post really touches a note in me. i see younger girls these days struggle so hard to fit in and i wish i could tell them it's not worth it. when you're contented and mentally well balanced, your body will automatically adjusts itself!

At 5:55 pm, April 21, 2009 , Blogger Connie De Alwis said...

Thanks for sharing your story, Bee. All of us have pasts and they're not always pretty! I did a post like way way back. I don't have any of the other old pics in my comp now though :-/

the last pic is hawt! :p I have one of those pics though and I looked like a mannequi -_- they digitally widened my eyes..

At 6:01 am, April 22, 2009 , Anonymous Tine said...

You've come such a long way, and really, I wouldn't have you any other way. I think you looked fab then, and now. And I love you to bits :)

I was my biggest when I was in uni (my 23rd birthday photos would be a big reminder, pardon the pun), especially in my final year in the UK. But you know, I was very happy back then. I lost all the weight and then more when I was going through a really bad relationship. Even though I looked good then (well, I think I did :P), I felt dead inside. I was slim, but I developed fine lines around my eyes from crying so much then, which you know, is irreparable damage (unless I do the whole surgery thing, but let's not go there).

As for now, I'm not back to the weight I gained in the UK, but I'm close. And comfortable. I'm happy with the way I am. Of course, my parents are always going to say I'm fat (I think it's their mission to get 10 pounds off me or something), but I think I'm all right. I could definitely lose some and tone up the body for health, but that's to the extend.

If we feel good on the inside, if we feel confident about ourselves, we'll look good on the outside. No point looking stick-thin and good when you're all dead inside :)

At 12:26 pm, April 27, 2009 , Blogger kavukz said...

owh babe, hv to agreed with others. u r brave one indeed. to let it go and share it to the world (my world :P) i have the same issues as u are..and since young ppl keep teasing me being the fatty..

I've lost at least 15kgs so far in 4yrs now. and maintaining it was so damn hard..

and when i was fat, ppl says ntg attractive bout me. even when i tried to put on make up..ppl are lauging at me...tat motivates me lots. and they cant even blink now if they met me in person..teeheehee...*being vain for a while*

btw, thumbs up to u girl. being beauty/pretty doesnt hv to be skinny. just stay healthy. tat matters the most.


At 8:22 pm, April 28, 2009 , Blogger beetrice said...

paris b: brave? LOL…I didn’t really think so…and were you ever chubby? Can’t imagine! :D But definitely YES to the making up for lost time – and then some!

askmewhats: box of well kept secrets?? Teeheehee…I so know what you’re referring to with the comment about Paris! We’ll definitely have to meet up soon (anyway with the amount of food recommendations we’ve been piling up, some dieting will definitely have to be in order!)

prettybeautiful: thanks babe! as for those mocking you, can you really consider them true friends if they do that? I know some of my friends did that for quite some time – I just lost it one day and told them off…they stopped after that. :)

plue: so true girl – it’s always the inside that should count (unfortunately it’s always the outside people see first!)

kimberlycun: yes, I do get what you mean…eating disorders are not a stranger to me either. It’s great that you’ve finally gotten to a place where you’re comfortable with yourself…and for what it’s worth, you’re completely HAWT! :D

connie: sometimes I really just feel like burning photos from certain periods of time in my life…but then again I’d lose out on all the memories – maybe photoshop kot? *wink* but too much also can as you say, give the “mannequin” look! LOL…

tine: awww…*HUGZ*…I know babe, but like you said, it’s a different case with the parentals! I don’t remember you ever being big, but I DO remember the skinny phase – slim yes, but all the usual spunk was missing…and for goodness’ sakes, the next time your mum goes on her “getting fat lah” bit, I’ll elbow her in the ribs for you k? :)

kavukz: it’s just something I felt I was ready to share, and I’m really touched by everyone’s responses. and it’s great that you’ve managed to lose 15kgs! It’s really not easy to lose that kind of weight and keep it off, and I really admire your motivation.


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